


Meet Me At The Bar

by JessintheBox



Category: Garrus Vakarian - Fandom, Mass Effect
Genre: Drama, Explicit Language, F/M, Mass Effect 2, Romance, Sci-Fi, Sexual Content, Violence, fan fiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-10
Updated: 2014-09-10
Packaged: 2018-02-16 16:13:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2276208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessintheBox/pseuds/JessintheBox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reborn or rebuilt? There's no distinction anymore. Former Alliance navy commander, Narina Shepard starts life anew with a haze of reality in front of her. Past and new relationships will test her revival and the so-called gift of a second chance at life. </p><p>The same story, with new twists and "deleted scenes" to fill the gaps. Follow Infiltrator, Cerberus operative, Commander Shepard into a suicidal battle against the Collectors and into a love affair with a Turian renegade.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meet Me At The Bar

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Phenomenology of Shepard](https://archiveofourown.org/works/613209) by [Elana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elana/pseuds/Elana). 



> So this is my very first post on this site, and my very first time being on this site in general, so I wanted to put a note here in the beginning so everyone knows what they're getting into. After this, all notes will be at the end.  
> I'm going to try my best to put only my final drafts (what I think are my final drafts) up here but there is a possibility that there will be tweaking later on.  
> I want to give a "shout out" to my friend Elana on here who inspired me to write a Mass Effect fan-fic with her incredible capture of the massive world that is Mass Effect.  
> Hopefully you'll like it, but bear with me, this is my first fanfiction ever! Please enjoy and give me all the feedback you can think of! Thanks guys!

_Shepard,_

_I'm sorry for what I said back on Horizon. I spent two years pulling myself back together after you went down with the Normandy. It took me a long time to get over my guilt for surviving and move on. I'd finally let my friends talk me into going out for drinks with a doctor on the Citadel. Nothing serious, but trying to let myself have a life again, you know?_

_Then I saw you, and everything pulled hard to port. You were standing in front of me, but you were with Cerberus. I guess I really don't know who either of us is anymore. Do you even remember that night before Ilos? That night meant everything to me... maybe it meant as much to you. But a lot has changed in the last two years and I can't just put that aside. But please be careful. I've watched too many people close to me die -- on Eden Prime, on Virmire, on Horizon, on the Normandy. I couldn't bear it if I lost you again._

_If you're still the woman I remember I know you'll find a way to stop these Collector attacks. But Cerberus is too dangerous to be trusted. Watch yourself. When things settle down a little... maybe... I don't know. Just take care._

_\--Kaidan_

 

Shepard released a long and thoughtful sigh. She hung her head and slowly massaged her tear ducts for a moment. Of course she remembered that night. Spiraling down through the planet's atmosphere below the burning wreckage of her beloved Normandy, that night was what she thought about. The faces of her crew, her friends, and that night before Illos were her final thoughts before she gave into the coaxing whisper of death. She shook her head slightly as she re-read the last line of the email. " _When things settle down a little..._ ", that was Kaidan right there, ever hopeful even to a blinding extent. There was no reality with Kaidan, just dreams. 

Yeoman chambers darted looks over at Shepard as she stood over her console in the CIC. This was the last place Shep wanted to be reading an email like this...and it showed. Kelly bounced over to her commanding officer tentatively. Shepard took no notice of her. 

"Are you...okay, Commander?" Kelly practically sang into Shepard's ear, bringing an abrupt and swift motion of closing out the email and facing the Yeoman within a blink. Shepard cleared her throat, adjusting her posture.

"Yes Kelly I'm fine." A stale and automated response. As invasive as she was sometimes, the girl was observant, though Shepard never was any good at hiding her emotions. Her dry and sarcastic flare of a temper was probably the most notorious personality trait aboard the SR-1...and 2. Moments like these, where emotions seeped into logic and etiquette, were almost refreshing, reminding her of the small percent that was still human underneath all the Cerberus metal muck swimming around inside of her. Turning away and heading to the elevator, she could feel Kelly's eyes burning a hole in her back, waiting for further explanation. 

"I'll be in my quarters until we reach the Citadel." Another robotic response, spoken without looking over her shoulder. The desire for solitude and clarity overpowered the desire to confide. Yeoman Chambers would just have to live with it. Unbeknownst to her, she was the last person Shepard would want to talk through something like this with...besides maybe Joker. Truth be told, Shepard didn't much like that it was affecting her this much to begin with. But it was more than getting dumped, then apologized to, then dumped again. It was the reminder. The constant reminder that the old life...was an old life. Two years stripped from her only to be shoved in her face every waking moment. Two years of nothing but comforting silence. It frightened her to no end how contenting that silence was.

The elevator doors hissed open, and the relief washed over her. Up to the cabin she went, with another heavy, this time very audible sigh. This was something new. Shepard was always checking in with her crew, chatting with Garrus, Wrex, Tali, and Kaidan. It was a privilege and a passion to talk and be talked to. There was never a brim to fill when it came to getting to know the people around her, never an end to the interest and inquisition. Everything was always wide out in the open, right there on the table, to be questioned or to simply be acknowledged. Now...more often anyway, there was this need for a dark corner. This unidentifiable desire to ponder. It was a quality that she had always admired in some, this ability to internally solve puzzles. For her, she was always _talking_ about her puzzles, either to herself or with someone close to her. Two years ago, aboard the SR-1, she would have welcomed this new development as just another tally on the wall of personality kinks. This foreign feeling of emptiness needing to be filled by solitude was just that, however; Foreign. Mysterious. Inexplicable. 

Apparently Shepard had been standing in the elevator with doors open to her quarters for some time now. She'd lost track of time inside her own head. Not only that, but she wasn't as alone as she had anticipated. Garrus leaned against the wall next to her cabin door. It didn't matter how long she had been standing there, motionless,  so she stepped out of the lift with a new found fervor. Garrus gave a casual nod of his head, but his expression was tense and contemplative. Shepard chuckled softly. She wasn't the only one battling with her own thoughts after all. Was she ever, though? 

"How'd you know I'd be up here, Garrus? Lucky guess?" She raised her eyebrows at him playfully. This was someone she had never had any problem talking to. Ash never understood that - Shep's ease of conversation with aliens. Garrus and Tali in particular had always been the two that she could sit and chat with for hours if they had the time. Right now, however, it was time to set aside her own thoughts and get back into the skin that was Commander Shepard.

"What can I do for you?" She walked into her cabin, waving Garrus to come inside. Her quarters were always an optimal meeting place, though she was rarely there for very long. This was unusual though, Garrus showing up without some kind of heads up. He always made an announcement when he wanted to talk to her, and it was never in her cabin. These details didn't occupy too much space in her mind though. Garrus straightened to attention, hands crossed behind his back, head held high.

"Shepard, I may need your help." He paused, relaxing his posture a little. The hard part was over.

"You remember Sidonis? The one who betrayed my team? I found a lead on him--" Cutting him off was the sound of the telecom on Shepard's desk. It beeped angrily at them and the light flashed with urgency. Shepard gave an apologetic look to Garrus and opened comms.

"Shepard! The Illusive Man wished to speak with you in the Comm room. He says it's important." Kelly's voice rang out through the cabin.

"I'm on my way." She stepped toward Garrus, he shrugged his shoulders.

"Don't worry, I'll still be here." He said with an oddly comforting tone. She smiled, ushering him out of her room and into the elevator.

* * *

 

 "Shepard -- we caught a break. I intercepted a distress call from a Turian patrol. They stumbled onto a Collector ship beyond the Korlus system. The Turians were wiped out, but not before they crippled the Collector vessel. I need you to board that ship and get some hard data on the Collectors. Find us a way to get to their homeworld." The Illusive Man took a puff of his cigarette as his holographic image slowly paced in front of her. She crossed her arms, never happy to have these little talks with him, and never shy about that distaste. 

"How the hell did the Turians manage to even put a  _dent_ in that ship?" Shepard always jumped at an opportunity to question...or argue with the Illusive Man. In all honesty, she just liked giving him a hard time and giving him more "bang for his buck".  _  
_

"Reports indicate the hull's intact, but all systems seem to be offline." He retorted, unphased by her predictable inquiry. Shepard scoffed.

"That's comforting. Have the Turians sent a recon team in yet? It'd be nice to have some back up on this..." She said, blueprinting a strategy for the inevitable.

"They will. Eventually. But I intercepted the transmissions. In the meantime, we're feeding them false reports." 'We're' feeding them false reports? There was no getting around the endless suspicion surrounding this guy and the info he threw at her. Shepard took what she could get, and planned for a less than optimal greeting with a 'wounded' Collector ship. 

"Send me the coordinates then." Shepard gave in, placing more faith in the capability of her crew, than the possibility of admission from the Illusive Man. There was something he wasn't telling her, but this opportunity was more important than petty distrust for the moment. That was probably the one thing they could agree on. 

"Already sent. Once you're aboard the ship, establish an uplink with EDI. She'll mine their data for information on the Omega-4 relay." He barked orders at her even though she 'always had a choice'. Some shitty choices...hence Cerberus. Shepard simply nodded and signed off. Opening her omni tool, she brought Joker up to speed, and summoned her squad. Time to visit a Collector ship.  


End file.
